The Psychology of Don’t: Why We Crave What We’re Told To Avoid 

Don’t Read This.

“There is a cat in my shoe. How did it fit in?”

Wow. Didn’t I just say don’t read this? What do you understand from this? Any guesses? All right, let me make it easier for you. 

Summary 

The following article explores why people crave to do what they are not supposed to. It focuses on what reverse psychology is and how it is being utilized in the modern era by businesses, our parents and teachers. The article also analyses how the spiritual arena utilises reverse psychology as well.

Key Highlights

• What is reverse psychology? (And why you fall for it every time)
• The Forbidden Fruit Effect: Why “No” Makes Everything Irresistible
• Parents, Teachers & Marketers: Who’s Using Reverse Psychology on You?
• How to Use Reverse Psychology Without Being Manipulative
• When NOT to Use Reverse Psychology: 7 Situations to Avoid
• Can reverse psychology apply to spirituality?

What is reverse psychology? (And why you fall for it every time)

Reverse psychology refers to getting another person to do or say something by telling them the opposite of what is desired.

For instance, in the biblical reference to the Garden of Eden, God clearly told them not to eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge. But what did they do? Of course, they just had to eat it. This is a very historical example of reverse psychology. Except in this case, God hadn’t intended to use that trick. But anyway, you understand, don’t you?

The Forbidden Fruit Effect: Why “No” Makes Everything Irresistible

Our brain doesn’t like being bossed around and being told what to do. If somebody tells you not to do something, you take it as a mini challenge. Your inner self would be like, “You do NOT tell me what to do.” So you do it anyway. This is also known as the forbidden fruit effect, which is basically the Adam and Eve example I just provided.

The word “no” makes something seem irresistible. People like to be in control, you know?

Parents, Teachers, & Marketers: Who’s Using Reverse Psychology on You?

Sometimes your parents might have told you, “You can’t finish your chores before nine, we just know it,” or your teachers might have said, “This would be a hard question. This class probably won’t be able to solve it.” And of course, we all know the “famous exclusive” or “limited edition” merchandise all over the Internet or in shops. Reverse psychology is at play here.

Anyway, what if I tell you that you must have been using reverse psychology, too? For example, saying “I don’t care” or acting unbothered to make a friend or sibling curious. These are the forms of “self-initiated reverse psychology”.

This could also be used in interrogating criminals. Skilled investigators may use this. For example, they could say, “You’re too smart to be caught in petty crimes like this.” This may trigger the suspect’s ego, and they may try to prove themselves capable. In doing so, they might reveal the crime.

Shop vendors use similar tactics, too. Like they might say, “This might be too expensive for you.” This compels the consumer to buy the product just to prove they are capable of buying it.

How to Use Reverse Psychology Without Being Manipulative

If someone keeps testing your patience and asks, “Are you angry?”, you could say, “Oh no, I love being neglected by people!”. This makes them realise they crossed a line without starting an argument. Or if someone pushes you too much to do something, like “Go on, try it!”, you may say, “Sure, I’ll try it and ruin my taste buds.” 

This works because if you act like you agree with what they are saying to an exaggerated degree, they might eventually back off.

But remember not to be passive-aggressive. You should be calm and humorous while using reverse psychology in situations like these.

When NOT to Use Reverse Psychology: 7 Situations to Avoid

You can use reverse psychology in certain circumstances, but you must not use it: 

• If a person is extremely defensive, anxious or pressured, then you should not use reverse psychology. They may take it literally. You should also not use it with serious people and younger children. Instead, you should use direct language. Like if you say, “Sure, ignore me.” They’ll end up actually ignoring you.
• When setting direct boundaries, especially involving safety and respect.
• If you feel like it is getting manipulative or dominating, as it may hurt people. Use it like seasoning, not the entire meal.
• When someone is already angry, crying, or defensive, it may feel like mockery instead of humour. 
• When you have to be taken seriously, using reverse psychology may make you sound like a joke.
• When it just becomes your default conversation style. Then, people will always have to think twice before believing you. They’d think, “Do they actually mean it or not?”
• When you’re in new friendships and are trying to build trust. This may make the person feel like you’re testing them. Instead, use subtle honesty.

After all, reverse psychology works best not as a way to manipulate others, but as a reminder that understanding how people think can help us converse with more balance and awareness.

Can reverse psychology apply to spirituality?

Have you ever heard monks saying, “You must Let Go to win”? This is how reverse psychology is used in the spiritual framework. As humans, we must let go of materialistic desires to attain spiritual awakening. However, in this world infested with materialism, this seems impossible. To ensure you do not stray from attaining the sole purpose of human life, guidance from a truly enlightened spiritual master becomes mandatory.

Today, Sant Rampal Ji Maharaj is the only spiritually enlightened master in this universe who is helping mankind understand their sole purpose and attain it without any deviation. To know more, please visit Sant Rampal Ji Maharaj’s YouTube Channel or order this wonderful book “Gyan Ganga”

FAQS

1. Is reverse psychology toxic?

Ans: If the person implementing reverse psychology is intending to cause hurt or uses it to control others’ behaviour through manipulation, then it is toxic.

2. What is an example of reverse psychology?

Ans: When parents say, “This vegetable is more suited to adults. You may not like it”, their original intention is to make their child eat that vegetable. This is reverse psychology

3. How to tell if someone is using reverse psychology on you?

Ans: You will be able to notice when their negative comments compel you to react or take action.

4. Why do people use reverse psychology?

Ans: Reverse psychology is used to persuade an individual to make a decision they will not otherwise make by suggesting the opposite of the intended purpose. This makes them think they are making the decision themselves.